Spanking or no spanking? What side of the fence are you on?

 

How to discipline a child is one of the biggest parental debates out there. For some parents “time out” works just fine. For others, spanking seems like the only way to get a clear message across to their child. Which method works best on the child though?

Here are the statistics

In a study conducted at Tulane University children’s short-term response to spanking may make them act out more in the long run. Of the nearly 2,500 youngsters in the study, those who were spanked more frequently at age 3 were much more likely to be aggressive by age 5.

The research, by Calvin College psychology professor Marjorie Gunnoe, found that kids smacked before age 6 grew up to be more successful.

 Child development research claims that using corporal punishment to discipline children leads to poorer developmental outcomes.

As 5-year-olds, the children who had been spanked were more likely than the nonspanked to be defiant, demand immediate satisfaction of their wants and needs, become frustrated easily, have temper tantrums and lash out physically against other people or animals.

“Children who are spanked occasionally are not thought to be significantly impacted later on, but those who are spanked regularly are more likely to have behavior problems that may escalate into antisocial behavior.” (http://healthland.time.com/2011/06/28/would-you-record-yourself-spanking-your-kids/#ixzz1tLjyT17v)

The statistics show that spanking a child is a temporary fix and will not solve a child’s behavioral problems long term. However, let’s not fool ourselves. Even though the statistics do say so, sometimes a quick spanking in the moment may be what the child needs. For instance, if your child was about to touch a hot stove you might give them a tap on the butt right there and then and say “no!”.  If they ran out into the street you might give them a few slaps on the butt to let them know that running into the street is dangerous. Sometimes associating pain and a dangerous situation is the best way a parent can tell a child not to do something. Especially if the child is too young to grasp why running into the middle of the road is dangerous just by telling them.

What do you think? When do you think is an appropriate time to spank your child and do you think it works all the time?

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What is an appropriate age to allow your son or daughter their own facebook page?

It’s hard for parents to decide what age is appropriate for their children to interact with much of the social media of today. You’ll hear a lot of parents ask “When should I get them a cell phone” or “Is he old enough for a Nintendo DS?”  or “At what age should I buy her an ipod?”. Now all the buzz is about facebook. Your children want to be part of the social craze, but are they old enough? Now with the new Timeline in place, it seems like everyone can get a glimpse of your whole life within mere minutes. So a parent has to ask themselves one thing. “Do I want to expose my child to the world?”. Most parents’ first response is no. Which is completely understandable. We all know there are internet predators and crazy people out there. Why take the chance? Then you start to think of your kid’s friends all socializing on facebook and your child begging you for a facebook page because well “everyone else has one”. So, what do you do? Well, the truth is you can let your child have a facebook page and keep them safe in the process.

 

If you check the facebook website, it states that you need to be at least 13 years of age to sign up for an account. This seems reasonable, since there is content on facebook that is not going to be appropriate for small children. So if your child is under 13 and pleading for a facebook account, then save it for a good 13th birthday present. Still, even 13 seems young. Even though we all worry about our children, we can’t keep them shut out from the world. Would you forbid your child from ever going to a slumber party? Would you tell you child that they can’t walk to the bus because of predators? Of course not. Instead you would supervise the situation so that it was safe for your child. You would probably talk with the parents hosting the sleep over, and you would most certainly walk your child to the bus stop until they were older. The same goes with the internet. You must supervise the situation.

Know the username and password of your child’s account. This way, no matter where they are or what computer they are using, you can still check up on their account. If your child has a facebook account and won’t give you their username and password, there is software you can install on your computer that will pick up the information for you. It’s also known as spyware. Spyware is not a comfortable word for most people, unless of course you’re spying on your own computer.

Don’t let them post their picture.  Not having a picture of your child up on facebook is a good idea. This is a good way of making your child less of a target for predators.

   Set the privacy settings to friends only. If you go into the privacy setting, you can make it so that only friends of friends can send friend requests and only friends can send messages. This may not seem like much but it’s better than the whole world being able to contact you child.

The most important step in monitoring your child’s facebook is to simply keep your computer public. Keep the computer accessible to everyone in the home. This way, it’s easier to monitor your child’s facebook activity.

 So what is the appropriate age to allow your child a facebook page? Although the facebook website says 13, ultimately it’s up to you as the parent. If you do decide to set up a facebook account for your child, at least there are precautions you can take as a parent to make sure your child is safe.

Do you know of any other ways to protect your child on facebook? Please let us know and leave a comment!

 

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